Rantings of an insomniac

Rantings of an insomniac

It’s the wee hours of the morning and I’ve got some thoughts in my head that I just wanted to rant out. If I don’t sound coherent at all, it’s probably expected since I had so little sleep in the last 24 hours.

“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them — words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of an understanding ear.” – Stephen King

1. I haven’t really blogged much this year especially about new events and products. I was going through some messy life changes earlier this year and figuring out if I even had time to continuing blogging. Then I simply went back to why I started blogging in the first place. It’s because I love writing and I love sharing thoughts and information with my readers and not because of all the events I get invited to or the products I get to try. While I’m truly grateful for all the experiences I gained, that really isn’t the reason why I started blogging or why I love and will continue to write here. It took me awhile to figure myself out but I’m in a better frame of mind now and I would love to continue sharing my life with you. Due to all these, 2015 also turned out to be my biggest year of backlogs. Right now I’m still working through some photos of events that my camera has captured in the beginning of this year.

2. I can’t keep up with all the store openings, new products and happening anymore and so I’ve slowed to a crawl. While it is a lot of fun, too many events pushed me to having a burnout from trying to keep up. Now, I rarely accept invitations anymore unless it’s from a personal contact or if I really love the brand. Living and working in a country that has so much choices and high level of expectations has both it’s perks as well as it downsides.  To illustrate how quickly 2015 is moving and how incredibly fast paced Singapore lifestyle is, let me tell you about Tokyo Star Optical which hails from Japan and has its first store in Singapore in January 2015. I was shocked in less than a year, it ceased operations already. Their selection of trendy eye wear is quite substantial and they are rather popular in Japan but were unable to make a breakthrough to the Singapore market and audience. It’s such a pity cause I really love their range of wood finished glasses. The local store had a good concept but the service level and understanding of the products was just not the same as the stores in Japan.

3. In the same way, having a good platform but not keeping true to the soul of the blog is detrimental in the long run. I need to focus more on writing about my thoughts, my feelings and on topics that are close to my heart in order to keep true to the essence of my blog.  As a child, I was never the keeper of volumes of journals or diaries. I loved the idea of keeping a written record of my thoughts but I kept losing interest once the novelty of the cute notebook I bought wore off. Renzze.com is probably the longest running journal I ever had and thus, one of my most treasured possesions. It was through blogging that I learnt that I love writing at the most random of times and I cannot be made to feel like it was a commitment of sorts. I get a special kind of  thrill when I write something and it translates the right emotions, representing all the ideas in my head perfectly.

4. Times were so much simpler back then before I got caught up in the whole social media wave. Don’t get me wrong, I love sharing and I love the ease we can do so with social media especially Instagram. What I don’t like is that it is so easy to forget why you are there in the first place. There is so much talk these days about how social identities are fake and how people are taking a hundred selfie to post up the one perfect shot; or how fake happy moments are crafted without any relation to what truly happens behind the lens. We all love the likes we get and the attention we get but there is a deeper level to sharing that is often forgotten. Sharing the human spirit. As an introvert, it is through sharing online that I’ve come out of my shell and found my tribe. Blogging has created such a sense of community in every sense of the word and it’s beautiful.

5. None of us are perfect and that’s only human. Instead of striving for effortless perfection, I want to feel comfortable in celebrating the hard work that resulted in those successes. Creative photos or videos gives me immense satisfaction when concepts in my head manifest into reality but they take effort and planning that should be shared and acknowledged.  Staying fit is hard, so let us share that and encourage each other to push through the lazy days. Maintaining a good complexion is hard (especially with the haze), let us share our secrets and our failures. Traveling is expensive, let us share the tips and the places to look out for so you can get the best experience while you are there. Looking put together and beautiful is an effort, let us recognize that we didn’t wake up like that and it is okay to look (and feel) shitty every now and then.

6. No matter how much bad rap social media is getting, we must realise we have a part to play. We control what we want to show and share. I know that writing online has power. I like that it can change things, educate people, reveal the truth. Many people think social media is one big scam but it’s not. Social media is just a tool in which you can wield it anyway you wish.  Many choose to let others believe that their life is perfect. Don’t be suckered into believing that everyone’s life on social media is better that yours. Personally, I alway remind myself that I need to use the power of writing and blogging to share information with the best of ethics. It’s gonna be tough in an environment where for many money is the ultimate editor but if I don’t stay true to myself, I’ll lose interest eventually. I worry about revealing too much. But often the best pieces I have written are the ones where I am vulnerable and a little bit sad. I can feel my readers reaching for my hand to hold. People know so much about me. I forget that sometimes.

If you made it to the end of this post, thank you for reading the mad rantings of an insomniac. I won’t be reading it through (and half my mind knows that I may not make any sense when I read it tomorrow) but now that I’ve typed out all my random thoughts, I am going try and sleep.



  1. November 5, 2015 / 9:47 am

    Great post, Karen. In a whirl of social media postings, the ones I love reading so much are ones like this.

    • admin
      November 5, 2015 / 2:45 pm

      Hi Carrie,

      Sometimes I don’t recognize the social media world I’m in anymore. I miss the days of true intent and strong bonding or maybe it’s just life that has caught up in me. You are one of those I can still relate to and I love reading your postings too so keep it up!

      • November 6, 2015 / 10:22 am

        I skim past a lot of content now when I go online. I check back regularly on the same few folks, yours included. I think its probably overload of too much similar content and most of it disconnected to the love to just share. Perhaps just fatigued from reading the same things over and over.

        The scene has changed, but some of the people who continue to share about their lives are still there. I chance upon them now and then and its a breath of fresh air.

        I also recently found Jason Hahn’s blog on his experience with Saffy and Amanda, his room mates… I don’t know if you were a fan of 8 Days and his column, but finding his blog really inspired me to keep remembering moments in life not places I’ve visited and note it down to write about it.


  2. November 5, 2015 / 11:09 am

    Well. I made it through the end. I like this part “Don’t be suckered into believing that everyone’s life on social media is better that yours.” That’s the problem! People always associated your life in social media is actually your real life. However, most of them fail to see that social media is more like a marketing platform (at least for most people).

    I read a article quite some time back ago. Facebook might be the culprit of some people suffering from depression.

    • admin
      November 5, 2015 / 2:43 pm

      Hi Neo,

      Thanks for making it to the end of the post.

      It’s hard to compare your life to someone else’s ” highlight reel” especially when going through tough times. Everyone is pressured to keep up and it’s hard not to get caught up in it. I guess this post is my way of consciously taking stock of that and making an effort to share the real side of life. The side where we have emotional battles, where we have to strive hard to make a living, where creating anything good takes effort and hardwork. Let’s help each other through the tough times and not cause depression to others.

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