There must be a season for love and a season for heartbreak. Cupid must have a secret calender somewhere.
A few months ago all my friends were on cloud nine and conversations with them literally gave me goose pimples! But in the recent 2 to 3 weeks I had 5 people I know who have gone their separate ways and of that 3 are pretty close friends of mine. It pains me to see them in a place where my positiveness cannot touch them.
They’ll ask me how they should nurse their heartache so that they can see the rainbow once again. And to this, I am no help nor can I tell them of a miracle cure. I’ve been through heartaches and heartbreaks myself (both on the giving and receiving end). I suppose you can say it’s a passage of life. But that doesn’t make it any easier or any less painful. I remember how it was when I felt as if my heart was physically being stomped on and that the heaviness and emptiness of my broken heart was so unbearable, every part of me was about to explode from misery. When one experiences such depths of emotional pain and heartache, all you really want to do is to envelope yourself around that pain and protect yourself from any more hurt.
I can tell my dearest friends to meditate on what went wrong or to hate their ex or that there is someone else out there that is waiting for them but the truth is… nothing I say or can say will help ease the pain. You just have to let the pain and the grieve run its course. I was there before… I was at that cold, dark place where I though the sun might not ever shine for me the way it did anymore. That the world was no longer as colorful as I view it to be. And for a while it was true but it didn’t last because humans are survivors. We will gain the strength to seek a better tomorrow.
Feel the pain, cry your heart out. Acknowledge that someone is missing and you cannot function anymore. That’s normal. You’re only human. You loved, therefore you hurt. There’s a big gaping hole that you need to fill. Once you’ve gotten your balance back, then it’s time for closure. Time to let go of the anger and the hurt. It was never meant to be but neither party should suffer for it. Wish the best for him and also look forward to the best that will come for yourself. Start loving yourself and do the things that you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time.
In the midst of all that pain, you are still a logical person. You know that you are a wonderful person before you met your ex and you will continue to be that wonderful person after you part. You know that you will find someone else and some one better. You just need time to get over the pain. Time that will pass very slow for someone who suddenly feels all alone. But its time that eventually takes away that pain and that hurt without you even realising it.
Meanwhile, share your feelings. Though no one can help you through your hurdle, sharing helps lighten the journey. Take care of your body and spirit, feeling unhealthy makes the pain far worse. Be patient and keep yourself busy with the goodness life has to offer. Don’t think about hurting yourself or drinking your heart out. Cause such actions do not help you heal, they just mask the pain and prolong the misery. Stay away from your ex until you have healed. You both need time and space.
Above all, I’m your friend and I love you. You are my friend and I will be here for you.
This is a wonderful post of what its like.
To be honest, it touched that soft spot in my heart and made me tear.
I totally can relate with what you have written and its never easy to move on. But then again, time will heal everything though we never know when.
Hope your friends are alright, you’re a great friend to them!
Joy,
Thanks… I guess love is never always easy. I do hope that my friends or anyone out there nursing a heart break would be comforted by the fact that as lonely as they feel… they are not alone.
This is a wonderful post of what its like.
To be honest, it touched that soft spot in my heart and made me tear.
I totally can relate with what you have written and its never easy to move on. But then again, time will heal everything though we never know when.
Hope your friends are alright, you’re a great friend to them!
Joy,
Thanks… I guess love is never always easy. I do hope that my friends or anyone out there nursing a heart break would be comforted by the fact that as lonely as they feel… they are not alone.
“You know that you are a wonderful person before you met your ex and you will continue to be that wonderful person after you part.”
ahh, i need that reassurance to feel that way! i always feel like i have been altered for the worse from my relationships.
good luck to your friends.
“You know that you are a wonderful person before you met your ex and you will continue to be that wonderful person after you part.”
ahh, i need that reassurance to feel that way! i always feel like i have been altered for the worse from my relationships.
good luck to your friends.
xiaoqi,
I guess any passionate relationship brings out both the worse and best in us. But I like to think that we walk away with a better knowledge of ourselves as well as what we want.
xiaoqi,
I guess any passionate relationship brings out both the worse and best in us. But I like to think that we walk away with a better knowledge of ourselves as well as what we want.